I’m Still Here, and Ready for My Re-Do

I’ve been gone so long from WordPress that I forgot my password. It’s actually just a hair off of my normal everyday password.  My brain just couldn’t get there. Thankfully, I try to keep important things like passwords in logical locations, and in the event I ever find them, I consider myself lucky as hell. As you can see, I’m lucky as hell.

I don’t know where to begin. We moved last Spring, and let me tell you, moving was a terrible and thrilling experience. Leaving the home we’ve known for 13 years, I thought it would kill me. Moving to a new neighborhood so far away, ahem, about 3 miles away, but damn far enough that we had to change our phone number, was scary. We had a fun, easy peasy phone number once upon a time, and now even after 5 months I can barely remember the new one. That was the rotten surprise of moving, along with the work. I’ve never been so tired in my life as I was the day the truck came!

I had so many memories in the old house, which was a drag on my conscience, but you know what? I brought the memories with me, so it’s ok. The new house feels like home, too, and the memories from the past didn’t vanish. That’s the thrilling part, along with the newness of living in a different place. I can still remember my children’s little carefree selves, picture them in the old house the way it was when we lived there.

Except now the new owners of my old dark red brick house have tried to tarnish my memories by painting all of the trim white. You know when you move 3 miles away, you occasionally have to drive by the old place and check it out, and when I say white, I do mean whiiiiiiiiiiiite. As white a white as you can imagine. A lack of color kind of white. They painted my old house a shiny bright lack of color. Not sure why I care, but I kinda do. I don’t want to know what colors are inside now either, nope, I don’t care, yet I kinda do…

Also during this time, my good friend, Carrie, decided to pick up her stakes and head for her dream state. Her dream state is South Carolina, or is it North Carolina? At any rate, it should not be confused with my dream state, which is, well, an ordinary dream state. More like a stupor, really. Yep, One o’ the Carolinas is the place she thought to be, so she packed up the truck and she moved her famileeeee… beach, that is…  fair temps… golden sand.  It’s not the same here without her. Your friends miss you dearly, Carrie, but we know how happy you are frolicking barefoot in the sand, and trying to make nice with the hurricanes.

Me, I feel like I’m just trying to keep in step with all the change. Kids grow up, dogs grow old, and we do, too, and it happens so damn fast. Wish it would just slow down and let me enjoy it at a leisurely pace, let me have some of that time back, a re-do, if you will. I feel like the hare, but I think I want to be the tortoise. Does the tortoise see more because he’s slow, or does he miss more for the same reason, can’t get there in time… and the hare, does the hare miss more because he’s always looking ahead, or does he see more because he gets there first? Interesting question, sort of. I think I want to be a turtle.

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Select, Salivate, Read and Savor

I am an excellent reader. When I can’t think of what to write, then I just fuhgeddaboudit and read a book instead. I’ve actually become a bit of a book snob. Not snobby in the sense that I can only read “literature” or best sellers, or award winners, or that I even know what I’m talking about when it comes to books. No, I’m just snobby in the sense that I try only to select books that really interest me, because I find that reading for pleasure is still an effort for me.

I love to read, but it’s an effort? Sounds like a contradiction, so let me explain. I’m not the kind of person that sits down and reads for hours until I finish a book in the wee hours of the morning. I might as well just pop a sleeping pill and go to bed. There are few books that could truly keep me awake if I was tired, and I am always tired. I read in spurts, chapters here and there, always anxious about the next short block of time I can carve out just for reading. I sometimes read during my lunch hour, in the car at soccer practice, or before I go to bed at night. My progression through a book is a little like watching a soap opera, except that unlike watching soaps, eventually I do finish the stories.

This technique is known in scientific circles as SSRS. That’s no BS, truly. You can tell that’s no BS because there are no vowels in either SSRS or BS, so it must be true. It goes like this – SSRS – select, salivate (um, figuratively), read, and savor. After going through this process, then I rush to the book shelf to start over… SSRS. So exciting! Yeah, I really don’t get out so much…

It sounds hokey, but to me reading a book is a little like opening a door and stepping into a different reality … what’s behind door number one? Number two? Lots of little doors I have opened this year so far, fourteen to be exact. A modest accomplishment for some people, but I’m pretty sure it’s a record for me, and it’s still just October.

I try to finish every single book I start, so I definitely don’t want to select a stinker because I will feel compelled to read it anyway. After all, someone spent a year to write the dang thing, I should at least be willing to spend a few hours a week to read it. Not sure why I’m like that, maybe I don’t want to hurt the author’s feelings. Only a couple of times in my entire life have I started a book (meaning, a novel) that I didn’t finish, and deep down I felt a little guilty when I closed those books and decided to put them back on the shelf. One of the books was as dull as dry toast. I don’t remember a thing about it except reading words for about ten pages and suddenly thinking, I am reading this book but the story is missing. Then skipping back a few pages and trying to find the story. Forward ho again for twenty more pages, and then, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I’m so sorry, nameless author, I couldn’t finish your nameless storyless book. The other one, Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities. Definitely a story here, but I couldn’t get past the first five pages. I attempted it because it is my friend Carrie’s favorite book (or one of them) and, of course, it’s a classic. I enjoy classic literature sometimes, but this one is more difficult than most. Either that, or I am not such an excellent reader after all. Or maybe I wasn’t in the mood to think so deeply.  Whatever, that book is a bi-atch! It still sits on my shelf, daring me to pick it up, and I will… someday.

So, check out the books I’ve read on the Just Books tab, if you wish. That tab holds a few of my excuses for not writing regular posts for my blog. There are about a million other excuses why I don’t post regularly, but that’s another blog post. Still, my blog tugs at me from time to time, when I ignore it for weeks on end. It is like a living being begging me for attention, not so different from Zoe bringing me a smelly sock. Write me, it says. No, I’m reading, I say. Then bite me, it says, but I just can’t listen to such negativity.

Snowy Blog

We had snow today in Texas!  For about 2 hours, big fluffy white flakes fell and clung to the grass … but then it rained and was gone.   Sad that it’s already gone, but in honor of our first snow of the season (I think more could be coming in a day or so) … I’ve added snow to my blog. 

So, don’t bother checking your eyesight.  There really are little white snowflakes falling on my blog.  Brrrr … makes me want to drink hot chocolate and sit by the fire.

Today’s Special is …

Some words probably don’t belong together, and I know I have done my share of throwing some oddities around.  I have put together all manner of words, and then asked the great Google god, or searched blogs, for an explanation.  Right now, I’m feeling pretty good because maybe I’m not the weirdest person after all.  You gotta love that Word Press dashboard!

Most people who read my blog do so by accident.  That’s a pretty safe bet.  For the past couple of months, most of these accidental readers have found my blog by searching for “swimsuits that make my butt look big,” or “what type of bottom will make my butt look bigger.”  These searchers end up on my post about the swimsuit I bought that does, in fact, make my butt look bigger (which is no easy feat, but we won’t drudge through that tale again). If I am to believe the statistics on my WordPress dashboard, this must be a bigger problem than I thought.  Finally, I am not alone in the world!  Maybe I could start a support group …  Small butted gals unite!   Can’t find pants to fit?  Join the group!  I can feel your pain, girlfriend. 

Here’s the latest search that brought a misguided reader to my blog today.  By typing in the words “giantess furry pancake,” someone clicked on my post about a little  mouse in my office at work.  I do remember using the term “furry pancake” to refer to the doomed little mouse as he flattened himself and slid under a door, but I have no idea where I used the word “giantess.”  Don’t know, but maybe I did. 

I”m picturing a waiter at IHOP  – “Today’s specials:  We have blueberry, strawberry, and banana pancakes.  Pecan and buttermilk, we have pancakes with whip cream and cherries, and oh yes, furry pancakes.  You know, last week’s special is this week’s extra special!” 

My point is … what would you hope to find if you searched for a furry pancake?  WHY would you search for a furry pancake?  Giantess, or otherwise? 

Maybe don’t answer that.  Maybe it’s new slang for something I don’t even want to know.  At any rate, weirdness.  If you’re out there furry pancake person, bet you didn’t find what you were looking for here, but thanks anyway for stopping by!

A Game of Tag

A couple of weeks ago I was tagged, or memed (whatever that means)!  I’ll stick with tagged.  Anyway, I was tagged by Linda over at Crone & Bear It.  I’ve been out-of-pocket a little lately, and have been avoiding WordPress like it’s my evil nemesis.  Yes, I feel guilty, but sometimes I just have to live with the guilt, you know? 

Down to business … as a part of this post, I need to tell you four simple rules of this game.  They are as follows:

Meme (aka Tag) Terms  & Conditions:

  1. Link to the person who tagged you.
  2. Mention the rules on your blog.
  3. List six unspectacular things about yourself.
  4. Tag six other bloggers by linking to them.

There you have the rules, and here come the six unspectacular things about myself (I’m sure my friends could come up with many more unspectacular traits):

  1. I’m a crossword-a-holic lately.  Not sure why, because I’m sort of crappy at it, but I’m addicted nonetheless.   Guess there are worse addictions out there.  My sister gave me a crossword puzzle book last spring.  I’m still working through the same book, if that gives you any indication of my crossword expertise.
  2. I’m convinced I have ADD.  I start many projects, but finish few.  I start them knowing they won’t get finished, but that doesn’t stop me from starting.
  3. I’m an alternative rock music fan (seriously!) and know most of the words to my son’s band’s songs.  When I don’t know them, I just make something up.  Sometimes I even use real words!   Occasionally, I even recognize other alternative bands’ songs, maybe a Breaking Benjamin or Coldplay song.  I even like them.  
  4. I’m a defender of the underdog, at least in my head.  I will look for reasons to defend most anyone from an attack (at least a verbal attack, not physical – I’m not that big, nor am I that stupid!).  Unless the underdog is an ass.   Then the underdog can fuhgedaboudit.
  5. I’m not a great cook.  I CAN cook, and I CARE about cooking, but other things take up my time.  I suppose if I really cared about cooking, I would find the time, and maybe even become a great cook.  If only I had 48 hours in every day, for then I would certainly cook!  Uh-huh, that’s right.
  6. I love off-beat humor.  Not crass or filthy, just a little off to the side.  Like Ellen Degeneres, David Letterman, Craig Ferguson, Steve Carrell.  These people make me laugh!

Now for my tags.  Here is where I break the rules.  I only know two blogs to tag.   The only other bloggers I know have already been tagged – Linda (who tagged me), and Delaney at Delaney’s World.  I don’t have six blogging friends, so you can see how pathetic I am.  So, so sad …  Anyway, I now declare the following blogs are tagged and said bloggers are hereby requested to go public with just six unspectacularities.  Well, only if you want to.  Drum roll, please …

  1. Char at Rambling is Therapeutic; and
  2. Diane at Two Barking Dogs.

Meanwhile, I’m off to make a few more blogging friends …

In Case You’re Wondering …

… where I am (those few of you that check in from time to time), I’m still around.  It’s been a busy couple of weeks, so my blog is on a little hiatus.  When Daddy travels, Mommy’s it, so not much time for blogging in the evenings.  If I blogged at work, I’d soon receive a pretty piece of pink paper all my own.  Once Hubby’s travel slows, I’ll be back, so keep checking in!  Maybe one of these days I’ll write something interesting, or maybe you’ve been waiting a long time for that day already …

 

Enjoy the brief blog break.  Say that real fast five times …

Well, whaddaya know!?!

Hey, check it out – someone likes my blog!  Delaney over at “Delaney’s World”  (http://delaney55.wordpress.com/) passed the award below to me.  Thank you, Delaney – I am flattered!  Thanks for checking in with my blog – and I suggest that my other friends check out Delaney’s blog also.  It will put a smile on your face!  The infamous chuckle of the day, great pictures, and thoughtful posts.  It’s all there! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I would like to pass this award along to my good friend Char whose blog “Rambling is Therapeutic” (http://charmarie221.wordpress.com/) was the first blog I ever read on a regular basis.  She’s a great friend and, as a matter of fact, first suggested I start a blog.  To which I said … huh?   Anyway, awesome writing (insightful and humorous) on her blog.  Check it out!  Char – take this award and pass it on!